At all costs.

I didn't start Level Two tonight.  And I think I'm ok with that.

As I'm sick.  :(  And on top of being sick, my knees are really hurting.  CVID's side effects (well one of them) is joint pain.  My joint pain is in my knees and elbows (elbows....really??) and my knees are really, really sore right now.  And you do a lot of working out with Jillian that you need your knees for. :)  Adam keeps telling me if I push myself too hard and injure myself, I'll need more than a night off.

And this illness.  Well, it's manifesting itself as chest congestion.  Since I haven't had a treatment since January, I'm very concerned that this is going to turn into a lovely case of respiratory infection.  Which sometimes leads right on into pneumonia.  Not always and that's not even my concern.  My concern is being able to run a 5k in six days with a chest infection.  I can push through knee discomfort, but breathing difficulty isn't something I can ignore.

And it's times like these I think there's never going to be a day that I'm physically fit.  Because as soon as I start doing well (eating pretty good, exercising daily, resting enough), then this crap happens.  I get sick and have a hard time breathing, I have a difficult time with my knees. 

Why now?  Why when I'm working soooooo hard to be in better shape before vacation?  I want to be able to be in vacation pictures and not hide as soon as Adam pulls the camera out because I'm too embarrassed to be in photos.  No, I didn't think this working out regiment was going to get me on the cover of Fitness Magazine, but I thought it was a start.  I thought it would be something I could be proud of.

And it's like I'm failing regardless of how hard I try.



EDITED: So I have no idea why that block up there is highlighted and I'm tired of trying to fix it.  Who even sees this???